How did I go from getting a significant refund last year (which I SORELY needed, it was how I kept my shitbox car running godamnit!) to owing them money? I didn't change my filing status, I made probably LESS than I did last year but according to the dry run (I have to work my way up to actual completion) of doing my taxes I owe the federal government about 400-500 bucks. I have never owed money before, I'm fucking 21, have no assets to speak of and make BARELY enough money to live on. Shit I made maybe 18,000 this year, MAYBE!! Actually when I looked at it, me and my roomates will all owe money, my boyfriend who made 16,000 this year, apparently owes like 600 dollars.

Thats real fucking good.

I'm wondering if Bri will be owing them an even 1000 because shit, she made probably about 7000. Obviously since she didn't make very much, she doesn't really need any of it.
So either the federal government has decided to openly fuck the poor in the ass with the largest dildo I've ever seen, or how you do taxes has fucking changed drastically.

Of course I could always have made a mistake....please let me have made a mistake....otherwise....

I am so fucked.

UPDATE:
K so I'm not that fucked. I just fucked up, totally forgot one of the essential steps of doing taxes. I was saddened at my own stupidity for a moment, then I decided to never again attempt taxes while slightly intoxicated. BAD idea. Stop laughing damnit!

Recently an excellent article came to my attention throught the amazing Feministe blog. This series about an "ex-gay" ministries seminar attended by a gay man. It's a series that is still being updated, and so far it is one of the best I've read in regards to "infiltrating enemy territory for recognisance", otherwise known as checking out the other side's viewpoint. He handles the heavy material matter well with an even look at both the psuedo-science and rhetoric being spewed by those who are putting on the seminar, as well as the anguish, confusion and pain that those who attend these seminars experience.

He discusses the language that is used by groups like Focus on the Family and Exodus to promote their agenda. Like any involved field of study (no matter how reputable) they have developed a vocabulary to define their world view. They define any kind of gay interaction as being pathological, and the only way out of that pathology is through Jesus. People are not gay, only their actions. It's a delicate line of Newspeak, almost the definition of blackwhite. It is also insidious and can be terribly damaging to people.

He described a large portion of the people there being family members and friends of lesbians and gays. I imagine many of them were there to learn to how to help change those who they love, or at least get an idea if their own idle prejudices are well-founded (I'm not comfortable with that, so it must be bad or at least unnatural and unhealthy). That was what shook me, is that these are not hate-filled homophobic asshats (for the most part, there were exceptions I'm sure) these were vulnerable people looking for answers to very real and difficult questions. What they got was nothing more than well- planned doublespeak, anecdotal 'evidence'*, and religious salesmanship. 

*I don't remember what blog it was from, or what commentor said it, but the multiple of anecdotes does not equal fact.

This is fucking absurd, but I don't think they have enough vulgar and detracting statements out there to describe the blatent  stupidity that this is.
Did you know that the earth revolves around the sun? Along with all other 9 8 planets and .

I know, fucking revolutionary right? I totally didn't steal the idea from this guy. Nope. Not at all.

Sigh. Seriously people, it's been 493 fucking years since this theory was published. Almost 5 fucking centuries! We have been to SPACE for fuck's sake, how do you think we did that? This isn't an idle guess they decided to just go with, there was research - centuries of it! - and . . . they are totally not listening. Fuck.
This is why we don't allow unintelligent design in to the classroom. These people don't even know what the fuck a scientific theory is, so they aren't shouldn't be allowed to spout ricockulous bullshit and call it science. Sometimes I swear, these people will look at something and if it's too complicated for them to understand, or it doesn't fit into their nice little box, then they assume it must be false. I suppose it's hard to have the idea that we are tiny insignificant little animals that developed through millions of years of trial and error shoved in your face with all it's "evidence", when you've been thinking you're the sky daddy's super special little buddy, created in his very own image and sent here to do his bidding. The truth is a disillusioning bitch huh?
Hat tip

It's wonderful to discover that one of the men your father revere's make's such well-thought out statements as

"In "A Christian Manifesto," he warned against wrapping Christianity in the American flag, but added, "None of this, however, changes the fact that the United States was founded upon a Christian consensus, nor that we today should bring Judeo-Christian principles into play in regard to government." Schaeffer was one of the first evangelical leaders to get deeply involved in the fight against abortion, and he advocated civil disobedience and the possible use of force to stop it. "It is time we consciously realize that when any office commands what is contrary to God's Law it abrogates its authority," he wrote."

Just....fuck. I hoped and hoped that my dad might be a little more realistic then my mother about political things. Like understanding that freedom of religion means freedom of ANY religion, not just the freedom to practice some bland flavor of X-tianity.

Other great points from these people include:

"Charles Colson accepts one hundred people annually into his yearlong "worldview training" courses, which include meetings in Washington, D.C., online seminars, "mentoring," and several hours of homework each week. "The program will be heavily weighted towards how to think," Colson's Web site says. It's intended for those who work in churches, media, law, government, and education, and who can thus teach others to think the same way."

And here I thought I knew how to think! Guess not, or maybe I just don't kow how to think the 'right' (ha ha terrible pun) way. Seems as if the course is intended to brainwash help you learn to think the godly way. For instance apparently these people know god's opinions on everything!

"The documents outline a complete political program, with a "biblically correct" position on issues like taxes (God favors a flat rate), public schools (generally frowned upon), and the media and the arts ("We deny that any pornography and other blasphemy are permissible as art or 'free speech'")."

But isn't speaking for god kind of blasphemous? Guess it's okay if it's done for furthering the interests of the religious right.

Another gem statement here;

"Only Christianity offers a comprehensive worldview that covers all areas of life and thought, every aspect of creation. Only Christianity offers a way to live in response to the realities that we find in this world. Only Christianity."

Please explain these
70,000 Year old Human Rituals
Mini Solar System Could Reveal Hidden Dimensions

I'm sure they would probably have issue's with these people seeing as how I doubt they think in the pre-approved way. Especially considering they probably follow (Le GASP!) Evolution! The theory that's full of holes (says the sieve to the bucket ).

Christmas is over...huge fucking sigh of relief, now I can go back to saving up that $450 in back rent that I owe. I enjoy buying presents for people, but I really didn't have the money this year. But I did all right kept the total under $300 for everything.
Now what did I get? Well, so far I must say teh best present was the

Ibanez RG120 which Nic gave me he got me the guitar used and bought a bunch of stuff for it - a case, picks, polishing cloth and the like. I've had it for a week or two actually, because he couldn't/didn't want to keep it a secret. My first electric guitar! I didn't know what to say when he said that he's gotten me one (although he'd been threatening since about a week after he moved in) I vacillated between anger at him spending $200 in one blow leaving him well short of what he needed to get him through till the next paycheck, and freaking out in uber-happiness at the fact that I now have my very own electric guitar, which I have wanted since I was about 8. I went with the happiness as it's his money (and now my guitar!).
The familial events went well, on the 24th we went to my cousins house, the next morning we were up bright and early to drive out to Wilmer for his dad's side of the families christmas, came back played some video games then napped until it was time to go to my sister's. My sister's house was fine, we for some reason ate enchiladas, tacos and steak but hey, whatever it was tasty. Everything went well until I opened the non-christmas book from my mother.
This . The whole point of the book seems to be ‘how to get married’. Because I REALLY want to get married. RIGHT NOW. Can’t you tell? I believe the first words out of my mouth were (after i flipped it over) "oh, and it's written by a man!" I have no idea what to make of this present. Nic and Bri really don't want me to read it (at least when they are home) because they know it will incite long rants and I will probably throw the book more than once. I've already almost thrown the book just from looking at the damn table of contents. Among the repetitive chapter names (each one starts with Be Honest - You're Not That Into Him Either But...)was the lovely little statement Bla bla bla -But You Thought You Could Have Sex Like A Man.So I am left with a conundrum, read the fucking thing and probably end up writing many angry blog entries enumerating it's many failings, or stick it under the bookshelf (Nic's CD/DVD shelf actually) so it doesn't wobble (the empty cigarette pack is getting tacky). I will probably not be able to stop myself from reading it, so I can at least give my mom a reason -nicely worded- as to why it's misogynistic crap that she probably shouldn't buy for me, as it inspires rage in me and makes my roommates sad.

What was she trying to tell me with this? Get married? Dump my boyfriend? Well neither of those is going to be happening any time soon. I've told her that I won't be getting married until I can marry whoever I want regardless of gender. I don't understand her insistence that "one day you will want to settle down and live in a house with just you and your husband and have babies."
Meh.
I told her in response well ma, don't be too disappointed if I end up living with Bri, cohabiting with my partner, keep 5 kitties and have A baby.

Are you between the ages of 19-29 and aren't married? Well then the government is here to let you know they've got a plan for you! No sex (unless your married of course)! Eh?....Eh, eh? Not gonna go for it are you? Not with such wonderful convincing statements like these?

"For condoms to be used correctly, over 10 specific difficult steps must be followed every time. This tends to minimize the romance and spontaneity of the sex act. (Choosing the Best, p. 25)."

10 steps? Really? Let's see here, I'm gonna try to break it down as much as possible
How to use a condom
1) Open little foil package
2) Remove condom
3) Throw foil package and little torn off bit to the side
4) Figure out which is the topside
5) Roll down over erect penis
6) ENJOY!!
So the most we got was 6...and none of them could be categorized as difficult, trying maybe (ever have an issue with getting it open? Yeah me too) but not exactly difficult. And then of course there are these kick ass condoms, which I am hoping catch on here as they are currently only available in Africa (i think anyway).

"Women need affection while men need sexual fulfillment; women need conversation while men need recreation companionship; women need honest and openness while men need physical attractiveness; women need financial support while men need admiration, and women need family commitment while men need domestic support" (WAIT Training, p. 199).

Where to start? How about the fact that this is educational materials with some pretty amazing grammar, 'recreation companionship'? 'women need honest'? Great proofreading skills on whoever designed that material. Every statement is a broad, misogynistic generalization of both men and women that  equates us with television stereotypes. Women don't want sex only love, have an inherent NEED to talk and require ca$h and babies, STAT! Men just want sex, an active buddy who also happens to be totally HAWT and tells him how manly and super amazing he is while doing his laundry. Good to know.  Please remember this isn't some fundie pamphlet either, these are actual materials they are using to teach abstinence-only ed in schools and now apparently to us slutty 20-somethings.
Now we come to the all important question of why? Why do we need to be teaching abstinence to a group that over 90% has had sex before, likely more than once!

"Government data released last month show that 998,262 births in 2004 were to unmarried women 19-29, the ages with the most births to unmarried women."

Unplanned pregnancy, (which they mean as anyone who has a baby and isn't married). According to the government, if you are an unmarried person under 29 the best way to prevent pregnancy is abstinence. Which is true, just not realistic. Do we really need to be telling adults lies to intimidate them into not having sex? Because I don't think that will work. Does our government really need to be in on our sex lives anyway? Now for the real kicker, because really we all knew how the BushCo government felt about fucking (if you're anything other than a married strictly heterosexual couple), they will be spreading this misinformation with $50 million.
I know, I'm excited too.
Hat tip to Mark Morford and Travels with Floyd as well as Feministe for the great video

There's just something about all those fucking carols, garish decorations and people spouting "merry christmas" out of one side of their mouth then getting all pissed off you don't have that THING they want that inspires a special kind of rage in me.  At my retail job when the manager is there, we are required to listen to the local radio station that plays 24/7 x-mas tunes during the holidays. This understandable makes me want to stab people in the face, usually when we get to the third time in as many hours of one of Bruce Springsteen's x-mas covers, or perhaps it's the 50th time of hearing Jingle Bell Rocks that inspires me to become stabby. It's hard to tell at this point.
I used to love x-mas as a kid (who doesn't?) now I dread this time of year.

Sigh

Only 25 days left till this fucking "holiday" is over.

I know, I know what can I expect, it's men'shealth.com but jeebuz

Can't Tell the Players Without a Scorecard
"So much subliminal information is conveyed in those first seconds of contact," says Carol Kauffman, Ph.D., a relationship therapist and psychology instructor at Harvard medical school. Okay, so you're on the clock. Make every second count. Below are 10 ways - in rough chronological order - a woman judges your fitness to be her proverbial daddy.

The first statement, quite true, the eye contact, body language, tone of voice, not to mention what is said initially effect every relationship. I thought this was true for both sexes and pretty much everyone in general (it's certainly how my cat's interact anyway). Apparently only women take this information into affect and it's only so they can find someone to replace their father! Excellent, I'm, excited now I know how to date like a real woman! Do i really need to mention the creepy overtones of that statement or trying to lend credibility to their statements by using a quick-quote from a doctor? Okay good.

Can He Talk About Himself and Listen to Me?

She'll carry 80 percent of the conversation load. Just make sure your 20 percent is about something.

Nice straw-woman. Very nice.

Does He Have the Potential to be a Good Father?

"For long-term potential, she considers whether you have the values she wants in a man," says Jean Koehler, Ph.D., president of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. If she can't see tykes on your knee, she's wasting her time. How you interact with your own family can be a strong indicator here.

I believe this was the one that inspired rage. It's not outlandish to say they may look at certain things you do for possible long term relationship sometimes, but the automatic assumption that all women everywhere (or at least straight women as we shall presume that a periodical such as Men's Health is not catering to lesbians) are looking for a man to inseminate them, well I feel insulted how about you ladies? I know I enjoy being told I am nothing but a baby hungry relationship seeker.

Time to stumble off in a slightly drunk rage to bed.
Read the rest, it's um, pleasant