It's wonderful to discover that one of the men your father revere's make's such well-thought out statements as

"In "A Christian Manifesto," he warned against wrapping Christianity in the American flag, but added, "None of this, however, changes the fact that the United States was founded upon a Christian consensus, nor that we today should bring Judeo-Christian principles into play in regard to government." Schaeffer was one of the first evangelical leaders to get deeply involved in the fight against abortion, and he advocated civil disobedience and the possible use of force to stop it. "It is time we consciously realize that when any office commands what is contrary to God's Law it abrogates its authority," he wrote."

Just....fuck. I hoped and hoped that my dad might be a little more realistic then my mother about political things. Like understanding that freedom of religion means freedom of ANY religion, not just the freedom to practice some bland flavor of X-tianity.

Other great points from these people include:

"Charles Colson accepts one hundred people annually into his yearlong "worldview training" courses, which include meetings in Washington, D.C., online seminars, "mentoring," and several hours of homework each week. "The program will be heavily weighted towards how to think," Colson's Web site says. It's intended for those who work in churches, media, law, government, and education, and who can thus teach others to think the same way."

And here I thought I knew how to think! Guess not, or maybe I just don't kow how to think the 'right' (ha ha terrible pun) way. Seems as if the course is intended to brainwash help you learn to think the godly way. For instance apparently these people know god's opinions on everything!

"The documents outline a complete political program, with a "biblically correct" position on issues like taxes (God favors a flat rate), public schools (generally frowned upon), and the media and the arts ("We deny that any pornography and other blasphemy are permissible as art or 'free speech'")."

But isn't speaking for god kind of blasphemous? Guess it's okay if it's done for furthering the interests of the religious right.

Another gem statement here;

"Only Christianity offers a comprehensive worldview that covers all areas of life and thought, every aspect of creation. Only Christianity offers a way to live in response to the realities that we find in this world. Only Christianity."

Please explain these
70,000 Year old Human Rituals
Mini Solar System Could Reveal Hidden Dimensions

I'm sure they would probably have issue's with these people seeing as how I doubt they think in the pre-approved way. Especially considering they probably follow (Le GASP!) Evolution! The theory that's full of holes (says the sieve to the bucket ).

Christmas is over...huge fucking sigh of relief, now I can go back to saving up that $450 in back rent that I owe. I enjoy buying presents for people, but I really didn't have the money this year. But I did all right kept the total under $300 for everything.
Now what did I get? Well, so far I must say teh best present was the

Ibanez RG120 which Nic gave me he got me the guitar used and bought a bunch of stuff for it - a case, picks, polishing cloth and the like. I've had it for a week or two actually, because he couldn't/didn't want to keep it a secret. My first electric guitar! I didn't know what to say when he said that he's gotten me one (although he'd been threatening since about a week after he moved in) I vacillated between anger at him spending $200 in one blow leaving him well short of what he needed to get him through till the next paycheck, and freaking out in uber-happiness at the fact that I now have my very own electric guitar, which I have wanted since I was about 8. I went with the happiness as it's his money (and now my guitar!).
The familial events went well, on the 24th we went to my cousins house, the next morning we were up bright and early to drive out to Wilmer for his dad's side of the families christmas, came back played some video games then napped until it was time to go to my sister's. My sister's house was fine, we for some reason ate enchiladas, tacos and steak but hey, whatever it was tasty. Everything went well until I opened the non-christmas book from my mother.
This . The whole point of the book seems to be ‘how to get married’. Because I REALLY want to get married. RIGHT NOW. Can’t you tell? I believe the first words out of my mouth were (after i flipped it over) "oh, and it's written by a man!" I have no idea what to make of this present. Nic and Bri really don't want me to read it (at least when they are home) because they know it will incite long rants and I will probably throw the book more than once. I've already almost thrown the book just from looking at the damn table of contents. Among the repetitive chapter names (each one starts with Be Honest - You're Not That Into Him Either But...)was the lovely little statement Bla bla bla -But You Thought You Could Have Sex Like A Man.So I am left with a conundrum, read the fucking thing and probably end up writing many angry blog entries enumerating it's many failings, or stick it under the bookshelf (Nic's CD/DVD shelf actually) so it doesn't wobble (the empty cigarette pack is getting tacky). I will probably not be able to stop myself from reading it, so I can at least give my mom a reason -nicely worded- as to why it's misogynistic crap that she probably shouldn't buy for me, as it inspires rage in me and makes my roommates sad.

What was she trying to tell me with this? Get married? Dump my boyfriend? Well neither of those is going to be happening any time soon. I've told her that I won't be getting married until I can marry whoever I want regardless of gender. I don't understand her insistence that "one day you will want to settle down and live in a house with just you and your husband and have babies."
Meh.
I told her in response well ma, don't be too disappointed if I end up living with Bri, cohabiting with my partner, keep 5 kitties and have A baby.

My mother just got out of surgery for a mastectomy. They found malignant tissue in her lymphnodes. I heard my father cry for about the third time in my almost 21 years of existance. The song I was listening to when my dad called? You guessed it...

Goodbye Blue Sky  
 By Pink Floyd
[ look, mummy. theres an airplane up in the sky. ]

Did you, did you see the frightened ones?
Did you, did you hear the falling bombs?
Did you ever wonder why we had to run for shelter,
When the promise of a brave new world,
Unfurled beneath a clear blue sky?

Did you, did you see the frightened ones?
Did you, did you hear the falling bombs?
The flames are all long gone,
But the pain lingers on.
Goodbye, blue sky.
Goodbye, blue sky.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.

My mother lies in a hospital bed
a few thousand miles away and all I can think about
is how much I wish I was there...
Childhood knowledge that death will never come
not for them, not for her
that she will be there
to care for you
to love you
to nag you
always
so assured and so
safe
refusing to believe
as if that will change the outcome
as if that can protect her.
so stretch out your fingers
feel the empty air
of lost hope and
sorrow
clench your fists
deny the truth
finally
withdraw into self
if the pain is unacknowldged does it exist?

I'm late. Or at least I feel like it.
Goddamnit. I go through this push-pull about whether or not I'm pregnant and sometimes I wouldn't mind so much, others I think "I'm not fucking ready for that!"

(((sigh))) Because I need more stress in my life.

On a happier but still child-filled note, I babysat for my awesome goddaughter (Miss M.) who is 8, and her little brother my adorable nephew (Buddy) who is 17 mo. Miss M is incredibly intelligent and will hold the most fascinating conversations with almost anyone, but the best are the ones she holds with Buddy. He is an incredibly tactile child, with excellent hand-eye coordination (for a 1 1/2 year old anyway) but he's not very advanced verbally. He still speaks in baby-talk and doesn't quite comprehend what is being said (even the word 'no') except with Maggie. When she speaks he is all ears. He will listen to her more than anyone else from what i have seen. She is his Sun and Moon. Everywhere Miss M. goes he wants to follow, she had to put a baby-proof knob on the door to her room to keep him out, but she bares it all with tolerance and loves him right back.
The only crappy part was I didn't get home until about 3 AM because my sister was super late from work. Damn, and today is a double shift! Oh well enough bitching, time to go and do some..(big sigh)..work.