The frustration joy of new software fills me with anger and satisfaction. Anger at my own lack of knowledge regarding any kind of image software, and satisfaction that I can figure it out if I just keep poking at the fucking thing. Witness my first great triumph! (It is a custom splash screen* for The GIMP software I used to make it!) Now I get to go home and figure out how to install the damn program on my Apple G4. Fun.
Tip o' the hat to the amazing blog mistress of Faux Real for giving me the final kick in the ass I needed to devote enough time and energy to actually learning an image editor thingy. She's great, go read her . . . please?


UPDATE - I got it installed , WOO7
*splash screen - the image or whatever that is displayed while a program is opening. Go wikipedia.

DISCLAIMER - In no way shape or form am I saying condoms are bad. They are one of the best prevention techniques for pregnancy and std's. Condoms as a category are an awesome thing that my life would surely suxors without.

Latex condoms. Wonderful devices that I highly promote the use of, but I also secretly hate. I love the wonderful pregnancy and std protection they provide, and my only complaints are aesthetic in nature. The smell, taste and feel are all kind of disgusting to me, but I most certainly would never disregard using one, even though I'm on my birth control again. So I set out in search of a condom that doesn't have the other icky qualities, and at the pharmacy counter of my local Rainbow(food library grocery store) i found these. Thought what the fuck, let's give it a try as both my partner (formerly HGAW) and I are STD free. Fucking sweet i tell you. A little different as they are made of natural membrane, so there is no resevior tip (remember to leave some space for the spermies gentlemen) but they don't leave any smells and it feels fucking great! He agreed enthusiastically when I asked if we should keep purchasing them, so we went to Rainbow to pick up more and...they were out. So we went to Walgreens, where the same condoms which cost 6.99/12 at rainbow cost 39.99/12.
w..t...f..
Everywhere else I have looked they are at least 2-3 times the price of latex condoms, so needless to say, I'm fucking going to Rainbow for all my condom needs.

How did I go from getting a significant refund last year (which I SORELY needed, it was how I kept my shitbox car running godamnit!) to owing them money? I didn't change my filing status, I made probably LESS than I did last year but according to the dry run (I have to work my way up to actual completion) of doing my taxes I owe the federal government about 400-500 bucks. I have never owed money before, I'm fucking 21, have no assets to speak of and make BARELY enough money to live on. Shit I made maybe 18,000 this year, MAYBE!! Actually when I looked at it, me and my roomates will all owe money, my boyfriend who made 16,000 this year, apparently owes like 600 dollars.

Thats real fucking good.

I'm wondering if Bri will be owing them an even 1000 because shit, she made probably about 7000. Obviously since she didn't make very much, she doesn't really need any of it.
So either the federal government has decided to openly fuck the poor in the ass with the largest dildo I've ever seen, or how you do taxes has fucking changed drastically.

Of course I could always have made a mistake....please let me have made a mistake....otherwise....

I am so fucked.

UPDATE:
K so I'm not that fucked. I just fucked up, totally forgot one of the essential steps of doing taxes. I was saddened at my own stupidity for a moment, then I decided to never again attempt taxes while slightly intoxicated. BAD idea. Stop laughing damnit!

Recently an excellent article came to my attention throught the amazing Feministe blog. This series about an "ex-gay" ministries seminar attended by a gay man. It's a series that is still being updated, and so far it is one of the best I've read in regards to "infiltrating enemy territory for recognisance", otherwise known as checking out the other side's viewpoint. He handles the heavy material matter well with an even look at both the psuedo-science and rhetoric being spewed by those who are putting on the seminar, as well as the anguish, confusion and pain that those who attend these seminars experience.

He discusses the language that is used by groups like Focus on the Family and Exodus to promote their agenda. Like any involved field of study (no matter how reputable) they have developed a vocabulary to define their world view. They define any kind of gay interaction as being pathological, and the only way out of that pathology is through Jesus. People are not gay, only their actions. It's a delicate line of Newspeak, almost the definition of blackwhite. It is also insidious and can be terribly damaging to people.

He described a large portion of the people there being family members and friends of lesbians and gays. I imagine many of them were there to learn to how to help change those who they love, or at least get an idea if their own idle prejudices are well-founded (I'm not comfortable with that, so it must be bad or at least unnatural and unhealthy). That was what shook me, is that these are not hate-filled homophobic asshats (for the most part, there were exceptions I'm sure) these were vulnerable people looking for answers to very real and difficult questions. What they got was nothing more than well- planned doublespeak, anecdotal 'evidence'*, and religious salesmanship. 

*I don't remember what blog it was from, or what commentor said it, but the multiple of anecdotes does not equal fact.

don't be angry
don't allow emotion to show
be the mediator
give everyone your everything
lose yourself in supporting everyone else
badly.
feel comfort in your failure
at the loss of what you love
and your own inept attempt to give solace
Babbling words and incoherant thoughts
hidden beneath the choppy surface
rising panic lulled to sleep with sticky clouds
fractured vison, skewed input
what is real?

This is fucking absurd, but I don't think they have enough vulgar and detracting statements out there to describe the blatent  stupidity that this is.
Did you know that the earth revolves around the sun? Along with all other 9 8 planets and .

I know, fucking revolutionary right? I totally didn't steal the idea from this guy. Nope. Not at all.

Sigh. Seriously people, it's been 493 fucking years since this theory was published. Almost 5 fucking centuries! We have been to SPACE for fuck's sake, how do you think we did that? This isn't an idle guess they decided to just go with, there was research - centuries of it! - and . . . they are totally not listening. Fuck.
This is why we don't allow unintelligent design in to the classroom. These people don't even know what the fuck a scientific theory is, so they aren't shouldn't be allowed to spout ricockulous bullshit and call it science. Sometimes I swear, these people will look at something and if it's too complicated for them to understand, or it doesn't fit into their nice little box, then they assume it must be false. I suppose it's hard to have the idea that we are tiny insignificant little animals that developed through millions of years of trial and error shoved in your face with all it's "evidence", when you've been thinking you're the sky daddy's super special little buddy, created in his very own image and sent here to do his bidding. The truth is a disillusioning bitch huh?
Hat tip

So I'm officially down to one job. Super! Fucking! Awesome! Not my 'real' job (the one that provides me with the Almighty Health Insurance and a decent hourly wage) but my job that gives me money for the things I could technically live without: food, ganja, gas for my car, is no longer. Working at Shinders was fun, most of my co-workers were great, the job was easy, a decent discount on many things that I enjoy (although the HGAW, who is now my Hot Boyfriend still works there so you know...), and it paid okay for retail. I also really needed that fucking money. Currently teh best friend/roomate is in her own financial pinch, and  Shinders is Hot Boyfriend's only source of income so I have about 2 weeks to get a new 2nd job. Can you feel the excitement oozing throught the moniter yet? Teh reason for the removal of the rug from beneath my feet? The company is slowly dying/resurrecting, no one is quite sure which yet. They closed one store 6-8 months ago, then another store last weekend and three of the employees from there are going to where I used to work, so...I'm let go. Apparently they will be closing the downtown St Paul location and trying to get out of leases to close at least one more.
I'm not too upset about losing that particular job, I needed the money, and the comic discount. I am still left feeling chewed up because there was no warning to this. There was a company meeting (all 120 some of the employees, also a waste of time because what they told us then has now come to be a load of bullshit) in January where they stated we would know well in advance of any store closings, and they would do our best to prepare us. Or not. Everyone (and I mean EVERYONE outside of corporate that includes the manager of the store that was closed) was told two days before they shut it down. Or so I've heard, store gossip being what it is, but personally I wouldn't doubt it. Gah, it's all kinds of fucked up business practice. I'm glad the Hot Boyfriend has decided to look for a different job. Hopefully it will be before they send out a fax telling everyone their store is closing.

It's wonderful to discover that one of the men your father revere's make's such well-thought out statements as

"In "A Christian Manifesto," he warned against wrapping Christianity in the American flag, but added, "None of this, however, changes the fact that the United States was founded upon a Christian consensus, nor that we today should bring Judeo-Christian principles into play in regard to government." Schaeffer was one of the first evangelical leaders to get deeply involved in the fight against abortion, and he advocated civil disobedience and the possible use of force to stop it. "It is time we consciously realize that when any office commands what is contrary to God's Law it abrogates its authority," he wrote."

Just....fuck. I hoped and hoped that my dad might be a little more realistic then my mother about political things. Like understanding that freedom of religion means freedom of ANY religion, not just the freedom to practice some bland flavor of X-tianity.

Other great points from these people include:

"Charles Colson accepts one hundred people annually into his yearlong "worldview training" courses, which include meetings in Washington, D.C., online seminars, "mentoring," and several hours of homework each week. "The program will be heavily weighted towards how to think," Colson's Web site says. It's intended for those who work in churches, media, law, government, and education, and who can thus teach others to think the same way."

And here I thought I knew how to think! Guess not, or maybe I just don't kow how to think the 'right' (ha ha terrible pun) way. Seems as if the course is intended to brainwash help you learn to think the godly way. For instance apparently these people know god's opinions on everything!

"The documents outline a complete political program, with a "biblically correct" position on issues like taxes (God favors a flat rate), public schools (generally frowned upon), and the media and the arts ("We deny that any pornography and other blasphemy are permissible as art or 'free speech'")."

But isn't speaking for god kind of blasphemous? Guess it's okay if it's done for furthering the interests of the religious right.

Another gem statement here;

"Only Christianity offers a comprehensive worldview that covers all areas of life and thought, every aspect of creation. Only Christianity offers a way to live in response to the realities that we find in this world. Only Christianity."

Please explain these
70,000 Year old Human Rituals
Mini Solar System Could Reveal Hidden Dimensions

I'm sure they would probably have issue's with these people seeing as how I doubt they think in the pre-approved way. Especially considering they probably follow (Le GASP!) Evolution! The theory that's full of holes (says the sieve to the bucket ).

Ahh trolls, one of biggest annoyances of being a blogger. (not that their present here) Reading comments can be like watching an online tennis match. An excellent example from Pandagon. I think Amanda probably gets some of the worst trolls I've seen. Most of them seeming to be wingnuts with too much time on their hands trying to piss off teh "moonbats". Or they are Dawn Eden the queen of the chastity department of wingnuttery, she's here to tell you that snagging that husband you've always dreamed of is as easy as withholding sex till the ring is permanantly affixed to your finger. (or as hard considering she had a few relapses herself).
Back to the trolls. Agood one can piss you off without quite knowing why. There is just something about their statement that is angering. If you have ever felt you needed to understand the nasty buggers somehow, and have some of the devices they use to piss us off then please read this.

I feel like sharing -
-Sometimes I feel 10 years behind everyone else in computer terms. Shit I'm just now discovering the world of MOO's! But meh I can handle it. Most of the time.
-I've felt nauseous on and off the past two days.
-I can't decide whether to be worried about being knocked up or the possibility of infertility...
-I'm still not back on my medication.

Thank you for your time and goodnight.